Japan is cold. I know this because I’m constantly reminded by all the teachers in the teacher’s room saying, “samui samui samui!” Translation: “cold cold cold!” Every other word is samui.
Teacher A: “Today is samui, right?”
Teacher B: “Yes very samui.”
Teacher A: “Yesterday was samui too, right?”
Teacher B: “Yes, samui but not as samui as today!”
On and on and on and on the samui loop goes until somebody has to eventually get back to work. I get asked everyday about the cold too. I usually respond with, “Yes very samui” and then I’m left alone. Some teachers will go further by matter of factly stating that the U.S. is soooo warm in the winter compared to samui Japan and ask how can I stand this weather. To the Japanese Hawaii and California is the United States and even if I tell them parts of America get cold they either won’t believe me or want to talk about world weather patterns in depth. To get out of this daily situation I just agree saying, “Yes Japan is very samui.”
On a particularly snowy and windy day the vice principal at Big Rice Field Elementary commented to me about how samui it is and referenced how much more samui Japan is than America. By this time I was so sick of the word samui so I absentmindedly say in English, “Yes Japan is very nippy.”
VP: “Ehhhh? What is nippy?” Please repeat slowly.”
Me: “Nippy. NIP NIP NIP EEEEEEEEE. NIPPY NIPPY. Japan is very NIPPY.”
I suddenly have a terrible feeling and as I look around all the teachers in the room have the same horrified look on their faces. Oh crap. I just said Japan is very nippy and repeated it AND shouted ‘nip’ at my boss, the vice principal, like half a dozen times to his face. I quickly reassure everybody that nippy means samui in English. Let’s all laugh about differences in language, right? Nobody really laughs accept for a few forced nervous chortles here and there.
Bringing up the rape of Nanking when talking about WW2, stating that the atomic bombings could be justified and it is a gray issue, and finally calling my boss and co-workers nips. Check, check and check. The trifecta of what NEVER to say in Japan is complete. Where do I get my idiot gaijin prize?
If the teachers are always bitching about how cold it is (in the summer they bitch about how hot it is) the students take it in stride. It was snowing like crazy last week and I and all the other adults refused to set foot outside without at least four layers on. Not the kids. During recess and lunch they burst outside into the freezing cold to have snowball fights and play dodgeball. Most every child was clad simply in PE clothes, a thin T-shirt and shorts. Samui.
Japanese kids are pretty tough. When a kid in America falls down they cry about it until mommy or teacher comes and makes it all better. In Japan when a kid falls down they laugh and get back up and if they do happen to cry some other kid will slap him/her on the head and yell, “Stop crying!” The first kid miraculously stops crying. It’s amazing. I could never envision a class of American 1st graders playing a game of death basket. After all the cuts and bruises and humiliation the school would be shut down by lawsuits in a month.
The day after the ‘nippy’ comment I’m back at the same school and informed my last lesson will be a ‘special’ 3rd grade lesson watched by the entire faculty and some board of education members. I’m suffering from a horrible cold that day, hacking like a 30 year smoker before their first morning drag, so I’m not terribly pleased by this news.
More unpleasant is that the teacher I’m doing the lesson with is Mrs. O who is obsessive and overbearing during normal lessons and interrupts me constantly to the determent of her class. Mrs. O plans a fifteen point by point lesson (no joke) which takes up every second of possible free time I have. Since I’m delirious with sick and she speaks no English I’m only hearing about 10% of what she is saying. I don’t get all her fifteen points but I have the rough outline and in my condition I really don’t care.
During the lesson Mrs. O interrupts me three for four times just making her look bad. I figure this would have happened even if I weren’t sick. This is the lesson:
A: “Hello. How are you?”
B: “I have a cold” (headache, stomachache)
A: “Please take care.”
B: “Thank you.”
Throughout most of the day I had managed to stem the tide of my hacking cough and phlegm but during this lesson I was feeling feverish and it all came rushing out. Mrs O asks, “Hello. How are you?” I cough for a good fifteen seconds and say meekly, “I have a cold.” To my surprise all the children and faculty are laughing exclaiming, “He really does have a cold!” “This is so funny because he truly is sick!” Every time I hack and cough the whole room bursts into hysterics. I had to leave the room for a few minutes to get some water and when I came back Mrs. O has organized everybody to scream, “PLEASE TAKE CARE!!” at me followed by a burst of cackling laughter.
The ‘nippy’ incident had spread around and people now think it’s funny. I’ll get an occasional, “It’s NIPPY today” from some of the staff. I’m a little uncomfortable with this but it’s my own damn fault. What really gets to me though is that now at Big Rice Field Elementary all the teachers and even some of the students are constantly yelling in English, “PLEASE TAKE CARE!” at me wherever I go followed by peels of laughter with their surrounding peers.
It is fairly disingenuous to say, “Please take care” while laughing in my face but I figure if I come to their country and say ‘nippy’ over and over again and other stupid things they have the right to act inappropriately too.
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2 comments:
It's funny how people think of the weather, even state-to-state. One of my friends bought a beanie and scarf online from some other state once, and when she gave them the address they were like "Why do you need that in California?" Little did they know that we grew up playing soccer on frozen/snowy fields, digging our cars out of driveways, waiting for the snowplow to get to school, etc. I do it too sometimes with other places... but I try not to because I should know better.
Also... the kid falling down thing is partially parenting. I know plenty of "American" kids (some are actually "Serbian" but are growing up here) that get up after a bad fall and laugh at themselves. If the parents/teachers jump to give kids attention all the time, then they'll react. Otherwise, they'll dust themselves off and continue. It's the ones who teach condition their kids to cry all the time that end up getting the non-cryers to start.
I didn't know it actually snowed where you guys are. That's pretty cool. (Sorry for the pun.) It's nice to have distinct seasons. I sorta miss that now that I'm in temperate San Diego, but I also like the weather here, so I manage. :D
Also... sorry you're sick. Colds aren't too dramatic or anything, but they can still really suck, especially when you have responsibilities to take care of (like teaching fiesty children)! Hope you feel better soon!
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