In Japan school is only compulsory until the end of junior high. Also, no matter what grades the students get or how badly they misbehave if they bother to show up for graduation they will pass. Kind of puts in perspective Japan's internationally renowned education and high school graduation rates. If the only kids going to high school are the ones that want to be there and the parents have to pay big bucks for it they sure as hell are going to graduate. Going to restaurants I'd see extremely young people as waiters and think this is their part time job, but no these are people working full time that graduated junior high and didn't go to high school.
Anybody that has money sends their kids to private junior high and high schools. Why do this when most public schools are just as good as private schools? Because of shitty ghetto junior highs like the one Kim works at. Kim used to work at a high school in Oakland where several students were shot dead and the drop out rate was around 70%. This school had better overall behavior then the junior high. It is the worst school in town and has a far-reaching reputation for misbehavior and overall shity ghettoness. We went to a Thanksgiving party that was three towns over and whoever Kim told what school she worked for they knew it immediately by reputation as "warui chugakou" or the bad junior high.
Government subsidized communist era looking apartments line the streets neighboring the junior high. These enormous gray buildings are filled to capacity with poor families and their children. The children are stuck in these drab cramped quarters and have to behave themselves or get smacked the hell up by their parents. So when all these children with their raging hormones aged 12-15 come to school where there is no discipline and no punishment for acting up they go completely apeshit; bullying, screaming, hitting and just being annoying little brats.
Meet the staff. First there is the head English teacher Mr. U who is a nice guy but a terrible teacher who goes over the lesson so fast that Kim can't even understand what he is saying in English, let alone the students. At least his classes are usually the calmest of the four English teachers.
Then there is Ms. I. Ms. I should not be a teacher. Her lesson plans are awful and she doesn't even look at the students while teaching nor move from her desk. Ms. I is on antidepressants but they don't seem to be working.
Mrs. S is a little crazy and her rapport with the students is a kinda inappropriate. She has even worse classroom discipline then Ms I because she encourages the misbehavior by laughing at it and never punishing the bullies.
Lastly there is Mrs. M who is a great teacher and is in great shape because she is always running everywhere. The one teacher that uses the lesson plans Kim makes and English songs Kim picks? Mrs. M.
The vice principal is creepy as hell and is always waving and saying, "HELLOOOO" to Kim. Even if she walks out of the teacher's room and comes back five minutes later he will give her a vigorous wave and hello from across the room. He hardly even talks to the other teachers. He comments on the clothes that she wears and commented that she seemed very cold. The next day he brought her a bag full of used sweaters that he claimed were his daughters. Except they smelled like a thrift store and had blonde hair on some and black hair on others. That's sick and creepy.
Lastly there is the principal. He is an asshole. Nobody likes him. Why did Kim seem so cold that day the vice principal saw her? Maybe because the principal never turns on the heat in the teachers room even though every other school does. When it's 40 degrees and everybody is cold and sick he won't ever turn on the heater. He never used the air conditioner in summer either. Asshole. Last week when Ms. I came to him because of a death threat she received from several students he replied, "It's not my problem you deal with it." What an asshole. In America his ass would be fired and fined but this is Japan and you can never complain to your superiors.
The last ALT left the junior high because a third year student physically assaulted him. The student invited him to a festival and while there pulled on the ALT's hair slamming him down face first onto the concrete. The ALT had a lawyer and was completely prepared to sue the kid and his parents but was talked out of it by the English teachers.
It's a good idea never to get too close to the students especially at a freaking ghetto junior high where the kids make death threats and beat up teachers without any repercussions whatsoever.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
No Fat Chicks
In American I'm considered normal to on the skinny side, plus I've dropped five pounds since coming here. In Japan I'm a little fat. In American Kim is told she is too skinny and even anorexic. For the record she eats as much if not more than me. Also, she is Asian and in Asia she is a normal body weight. Anyway… I would have to lose another fifteen to twenty pounds and Kim would have to lose five to ten pounds to be considered beautifully thin by Japanese standards. Having put that out there I would HATE to be fat, and especially a fat woman, in Japan.
It's not like the Japanese don't like to eat though, far from it. Half of the shows on TV are about cooking, eating, and traveling the country to find places to cook and eat. This is no exaggeration. However, all the portions here are so small compared to America and the food is usually very healthy.
School lunch in Japan: milk, rice, soup, salad and a main dish usually with some of lean meat or egg. If the kids are really lucky they will get a desert in the form a piece of fruit or plain yogurt. Hooray it's healthy! School lunch in America: a burrito with 60 grams of fat, chips, soda, cookies, and a piece of fruit or yogurt that they throw against the wall. Hooray it splattered!
In America Kim and I would often go to a restaurant and order one meal and split it, usually there would be leftovers. In Japan we always get our own meal and there are never any leftovers. I think the concept of taking the remains of one's meal home in a bag would disgust the Japanese anyway because I sure as hell haven't seen anyone take home leftovers. In America I'd seriously feel ripped off if the waiter didn't bring me so much food that I could eat until my stomach hurt and be only halfway finished so I could take it home and punish my gut further.
The Japanese are really nice and polite but they will not hesitate at all to call anyone fat. The super polite ones say something to the effect of; "Oh you must really enjoy your food." However, most just come out and say, "You are a little fat. You need to lose weight" Ouch. A little harsh don't you think?
When someone is fat it is his or her defining characteristic. I needed to talk to a certain Ms. T about an English lesson so I asked the teacher next to me who she was. The teacher next to me points across the room and says in Engrish, "fato fato! She is very fato woman." Everybody in the room hears this, even Ms T. The majority nod their heads in silent agreement that Ms T is indeed the very fato woman in that general direction. I look around for the morbidly obese 300 plus pound woman, where could she be hiding? Oh wait there she is! A mildly overweight middle aged woman making copies. This is Japan though and Ms. T will forever be branded as 'the very fato woman' unless she loses twenty pounds
Yet lard assed sumo wrestlers are professional athletes considered in the peak of physical shape.
In America it's much much more accepted to have a little extra junk in the trunk and many men in American prefer bigger women. I love the curves that god gave me! Big is beautiful! I like big butts and I can't deny… and so forth. Japanese beauty is measured in how small and cute girls are. If a girl is kinda cute and has thighs that are skinnier than her forearms then she's automatically in the running for Miss Japan. Skinny cute girls are fawned over and women in their 30's are still expected to act like high school girls in certain situations. Girls that aren't even obese just a little chubby are ostracized from elementary school into adulthood and beyond.
A couple weeks ago I walked into the teacher's room at one of the rural schools and a chubby woman in her mid to late 20's was there giving some dreary sales pitch for textbooks to the assemblage of uninterested teachers. After .5 seconds I ignore her monotonous drone of facts and figures to do more important things like stare out the window. Now if sales girl was skinny then all the male AND female teachers would be very attentive no matter how boring the pitch was. The speech ends and sales girl claps her hands waking up the half asleep staff. Then she raises her voice so impossibly high I thought only dogs could hear it and busts into an awkward cheerleader routine. I'm shocked and so is everyone else.
After a half minute of cheers sales girl half trips and sweeps one chubby appendage towards the principal's desk sending its contents flying in all directions. Many teachers start laughing but managed to stifle their giggles early on, but I couldn't stop myself. Seriously it was so damn hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing so I had to leave the room.
I felt bad for sales girl and it seems like a lot of the teachers did to because when I came back at lunch she was selling several teachers new edition textbooks. In Japan even overweight girls in their mid to late 20's giving professional speeches have to act like cute cheerleader types. Just imagine if companies tried to make women in America do this? The horror… the horror.
It's not like the Japanese don't like to eat though, far from it. Half of the shows on TV are about cooking, eating, and traveling the country to find places to cook and eat. This is no exaggeration. However, all the portions here are so small compared to America and the food is usually very healthy.
School lunch in Japan: milk, rice, soup, salad and a main dish usually with some of lean meat or egg. If the kids are really lucky they will get a desert in the form a piece of fruit or plain yogurt. Hooray it's healthy! School lunch in America: a burrito with 60 grams of fat, chips, soda, cookies, and a piece of fruit or yogurt that they throw against the wall. Hooray it splattered!
In America Kim and I would often go to a restaurant and order one meal and split it, usually there would be leftovers. In Japan we always get our own meal and there are never any leftovers. I think the concept of taking the remains of one's meal home in a bag would disgust the Japanese anyway because I sure as hell haven't seen anyone take home leftovers. In America I'd seriously feel ripped off if the waiter didn't bring me so much food that I could eat until my stomach hurt and be only halfway finished so I could take it home and punish my gut further.
The Japanese are really nice and polite but they will not hesitate at all to call anyone fat. The super polite ones say something to the effect of; "Oh you must really enjoy your food." However, most just come out and say, "You are a little fat. You need to lose weight" Ouch. A little harsh don't you think?
When someone is fat it is his or her defining characteristic. I needed to talk to a certain Ms. T about an English lesson so I asked the teacher next to me who she was. The teacher next to me points across the room and says in Engrish, "fato fato! She is very fato woman." Everybody in the room hears this, even Ms T. The majority nod their heads in silent agreement that Ms T is indeed the very fato woman in that general direction. I look around for the morbidly obese 300 plus pound woman, where could she be hiding? Oh wait there she is! A mildly overweight middle aged woman making copies. This is Japan though and Ms. T will forever be branded as 'the very fato woman' unless she loses twenty pounds
Yet lard assed sumo wrestlers are professional athletes considered in the peak of physical shape.
In America it's much much more accepted to have a little extra junk in the trunk and many men in American prefer bigger women. I love the curves that god gave me! Big is beautiful! I like big butts and I can't deny… and so forth. Japanese beauty is measured in how small and cute girls are. If a girl is kinda cute and has thighs that are skinnier than her forearms then she's automatically in the running for Miss Japan. Skinny cute girls are fawned over and women in their 30's are still expected to act like high school girls in certain situations. Girls that aren't even obese just a little chubby are ostracized from elementary school into adulthood and beyond.
A couple weeks ago I walked into the teacher's room at one of the rural schools and a chubby woman in her mid to late 20's was there giving some dreary sales pitch for textbooks to the assemblage of uninterested teachers. After .5 seconds I ignore her monotonous drone of facts and figures to do more important things like stare out the window. Now if sales girl was skinny then all the male AND female teachers would be very attentive no matter how boring the pitch was. The speech ends and sales girl claps her hands waking up the half asleep staff. Then she raises her voice so impossibly high I thought only dogs could hear it and busts into an awkward cheerleader routine. I'm shocked and so is everyone else.
After a half minute of cheers sales girl half trips and sweeps one chubby appendage towards the principal's desk sending its contents flying in all directions. Many teachers start laughing but managed to stifle their giggles early on, but I couldn't stop myself. Seriously it was so damn hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing so I had to leave the room.
I felt bad for sales girl and it seems like a lot of the teachers did to because when I came back at lunch she was selling several teachers new edition textbooks. In Japan even overweight girls in their mid to late 20's giving professional speeches have to act like cute cheerleader types. Just imagine if companies tried to make women in America do this? The horror… the horror.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Return of the Musings
The Japanese national sport isn't sumo nor kendo, it's not baseball, or even ritual suicide it's janken or in American rock paper scissors. Children and adults alike are relentless in their pursuit of janken supremacy. Every time I teach an English lesson the game that goes along with the lesson involves janken in some way. On television there are janken tournaments complete with brackets, scorecards and even commentators. People honestly believe there is a strategy to janken because, "scissors takes longer to form" or "somebody that throws rock will move their hand faster." Almost every dispute in class is settled with a game of janken and children wanting to play janken will randomly accost me, even waiting outside of the bathroom.
Now I know why sick people in Japan wear masks. Nobody covers their mouths when they cough, ever. Japanese mind: "I cannot possibly dirty my hand or shirt sleeve with my cough so let me instead cough as hard as I can into the air." I can actually see the particles of sick wafting towards me. Gross. Solution? Cough into a mask instead. Brilliant!
It's nice to see so many active old people riding their bicycles everywhere. Obasans (old women) in there 80's still hop on a bike to do the daily shopping. The ojisans (old men) don't always look so healthy though. They are usually chain smoking while cycling and probably going to go drink the day away playing mahjong, Go, or pachinko with their retired buddies.
I know I've already covered the horror that is squat toilets but the urinals aren't that great either. Most of the time the urinal is too short for me, but hey no surprise there. Why I really don't like urinals is because Japanese guys tend to utilize the hug the wall technique of peeing where I, like most Americans, like to leave a little space between my stream and the bowl to prevent splash back. By now I'm used to being stared at, just not in the bathroom. Maybe because of my stream space or because I'm a foreigner but every damn time I use a urinal and some other guy is there he blatantly stares at me. I'm not talking about my eyes either. I was supposed to go to an onsen last week where everyone is butt naked but it was closed. I'm anticipating when I do go that I'll get stared at a lot. Again, I'm not talking about my eyes.
Why do teachers, and not just teachers but a large part of the Japanese work force, have to stay so long at work? I know teaching is not an easy job, but are the 12 hour days really necessary every day? Half the time it seems they are just browsing the Internet or drinking tea and chatting. Why the hell can't they just get their work done and go home to have dinner before 9:00pm?
Japanese people really really love their unique four seasons. You can only wear certain clothes during a certain season, do certain activities, and eat certain foods. Its summer let us go to summer festivals, watch fireworks and drink. Its fall let us moon gaze, watch the changing leaves, and drink. Its winter let us visit Hokkaido, give money to our adorable grandsons, and drink. Its spring let us go cherry blossom viewing, have picnics and drink. The Japanese also like to use any excuse to have a drinking party no matter what season it is.
Disney is popular in Japan, very popular. Students have as much Disney paraphernalia with them as the three most popular animes: Pokemon, Dragonball Z and Naruto combined. Lilo and Stitch may have bombed in the US but it is making fat BANK in Japan. A Disney movie combining Hawaii with adorable anime looking creature equals instant classic to the hearts of the Japanese.
In the podunk town I live in nobody travels very much but everybody and their obasan has been to Tokyo Disneyland. Not even knowing I've lived in California, just that I'm an American, one of the first questions people will ask is, "Have you been to Disneyland?" When I reply with a yes a look of wonder, amazement and jealousy all wrapped in one sweeps over their face. I'm bombarded with dozens of follow up questions asking me how great Disneyland is or how is it different from Tokyo Disneyland. Children (and adults) have been so persistent with their questions about Disneyland that for now on if anyone asks me if I've been to American Disneyland I'll simply say NO.
Now I know why sick people in Japan wear masks. Nobody covers their mouths when they cough, ever. Japanese mind: "I cannot possibly dirty my hand or shirt sleeve with my cough so let me instead cough as hard as I can into the air." I can actually see the particles of sick wafting towards me. Gross. Solution? Cough into a mask instead. Brilliant!
It's nice to see so many active old people riding their bicycles everywhere. Obasans (old women) in there 80's still hop on a bike to do the daily shopping. The ojisans (old men) don't always look so healthy though. They are usually chain smoking while cycling and probably going to go drink the day away playing mahjong, Go, or pachinko with their retired buddies.
I know I've already covered the horror that is squat toilets but the urinals aren't that great either. Most of the time the urinal is too short for me, but hey no surprise there. Why I really don't like urinals is because Japanese guys tend to utilize the hug the wall technique of peeing where I, like most Americans, like to leave a little space between my stream and the bowl to prevent splash back. By now I'm used to being stared at, just not in the bathroom. Maybe because of my stream space or because I'm a foreigner but every damn time I use a urinal and some other guy is there he blatantly stares at me. I'm not talking about my eyes either. I was supposed to go to an onsen last week where everyone is butt naked but it was closed. I'm anticipating when I do go that I'll get stared at a lot. Again, I'm not talking about my eyes.
Why do teachers, and not just teachers but a large part of the Japanese work force, have to stay so long at work? I know teaching is not an easy job, but are the 12 hour days really necessary every day? Half the time it seems they are just browsing the Internet or drinking tea and chatting. Why the hell can't they just get their work done and go home to have dinner before 9:00pm?
Japanese people really really love their unique four seasons. You can only wear certain clothes during a certain season, do certain activities, and eat certain foods. Its summer let us go to summer festivals, watch fireworks and drink. Its fall let us moon gaze, watch the changing leaves, and drink. Its winter let us visit Hokkaido, give money to our adorable grandsons, and drink. Its spring let us go cherry blossom viewing, have picnics and drink. The Japanese also like to use any excuse to have a drinking party no matter what season it is.
Disney is popular in Japan, very popular. Students have as much Disney paraphernalia with them as the three most popular animes: Pokemon, Dragonball Z and Naruto combined. Lilo and Stitch may have bombed in the US but it is making fat BANK in Japan. A Disney movie combining Hawaii with adorable anime looking creature equals instant classic to the hearts of the Japanese.
In the podunk town I live in nobody travels very much but everybody and their obasan has been to Tokyo Disneyland. Not even knowing I've lived in California, just that I'm an American, one of the first questions people will ask is, "Have you been to Disneyland?" When I reply with a yes a look of wonder, amazement and jealousy all wrapped in one sweeps over their face. I'm bombarded with dozens of follow up questions asking me how great Disneyland is or how is it different from Tokyo Disneyland. Children (and adults) have been so persistent with their questions about Disneyland that for now on if anyone asks me if I've been to American Disneyland I'll simply say NO.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Not Going Quietly
Last weekend Kim and I met up with a couple of friends in Tokyo that are visiting Japan. Eating at competing gyoza restaurants, getting lost, ending up in some strange/creepy as hell amusement park, getting lost, shopping, karaoke, and getting lost again filled out our day, and now it was time for dinner. Our guests hadn't been to a yakitori restaurant yet so we decided to eat at one. Going inside the waitress promptly seats our party of four and puts cabbage and shoyo on our table. The menu at this place, like many small Japanese restaurants, is on the wall and all in Japanese.
Waitress: "Can you read the menu? Are you all right?"
Me: "Yes. I can read most of it. We're fine."
A minute or so goes by as we discuss what we want to order. The chef/owner of the establishment, a diminutive elderly man, walks up to our table.
Owner: "Can you read the menu?"
Me: "Yes. I can read most of it. My kanji isn't very good though. But…" (cuts me off)
Owner: "You don't know enough Japanese you must leave. Now."
What the hell? He must not understand that I can order food and it's okay because I've ordered at plenty of Japanese restaurants that had a more difficult menu then this one.
Me: "I can read the menu. It's okay."
Owner: "You can't speak Japanese well enough you must leave now."
Me: "Uhhh… we have enough money. It's okay."
Owner: "You must leave now because you cannot read or speak Japanese."
Me: "No no no I CAN read! I don't understand what's wrong."
Owner: "I'm sorry you must leave now. You can't speak well enough."
The waitress picks up the cabbage and shoyo off our table. It's right about now that I understand we are getting kicked out. I tell everyone at our table what is going on and the owner's reason behind it. Obviously not knowing enough Japanese is not the real reason seeing how I am having a whole conversation about how I don't know enough Japanese… in Japanese.
Maybe four gaijin is just way over the quota for such a small place? Maybe three obvious gaijin with one pretty-and-could-pass-for-Japanese woman is too much to handle? Maybe because I'm white or Emanuel is black or Moty is Laotian. Whatever reason he was pissed in that reserved Japanese way where you can tell he is pissed without being so outwardly angry but one false move could lead to a shuriken in your temple.
Being so used to polite and friendly Japanese customer service people I couldn't even fathom that we would go into a restaurant and be kicked out. At first I thought they didn't understand that I really could order and my second thought was maybe they don't think we have enough money. Around the third or fourth time the stubborn old bastard owner told me I couldn't speak or read Japanese (and he sure as hell was sticking to that line) was when I realized we were getting kicked out because we are gaijin.
I'm so dumbfounded by the situation that I can't do anything but make my feeble protest and leave. Me and the other two guys are thinking, "if this guy wants us to leave then f*ck him we'll find somewhere better." Us three big scary foreign looking men stand up and slink out of the restaurant, defeated.
However, Kim, the petite Japanese-looking girl waits until the men start to walk out and holding her head high screams English obscenity after obscenity at the crusty old man to the shock and horror of all in attendance. Looking behind me I see the customers and staff with their heads down out of embarrassment of the situation. Kim exits last and as a final F*CK YOU she slams the door of the restaurant so hard it might have reawakened Godzilla.
I've never been kicked out of anywhere before, especially while sober and at a public restaurant and certainly never because of my ethnicity. The white man finally got to share a moment of intolerance and racism with his black and Asian friends. Hmmmm so this is why minorities can get angry over equality. Yes I see it is all starting to make sense now.
Afterwards we went to an awesome tempura restaurant where the menu was all in Japanese. Problems? None. In fact we got one of the best tables, had great service, and the food was delicious. One small statured small minded old man isn't going to ruin our time in Japan damn it.
Waitress: "Can you read the menu? Are you all right?"
Me: "Yes. I can read most of it. We're fine."
A minute or so goes by as we discuss what we want to order. The chef/owner of the establishment, a diminutive elderly man, walks up to our table.
Owner: "Can you read the menu?"
Me: "Yes. I can read most of it. My kanji isn't very good though. But…" (cuts me off)
Owner: "You don't know enough Japanese you must leave. Now."
What the hell? He must not understand that I can order food and it's okay because I've ordered at plenty of Japanese restaurants that had a more difficult menu then this one.
Me: "I can read the menu. It's okay."
Owner: "You can't speak Japanese well enough you must leave now."
Me: "Uhhh… we have enough money. It's okay."
Owner: "You must leave now because you cannot read or speak Japanese."
Me: "No no no I CAN read! I don't understand what's wrong."
Owner: "I'm sorry you must leave now. You can't speak well enough."
The waitress picks up the cabbage and shoyo off our table. It's right about now that I understand we are getting kicked out. I tell everyone at our table what is going on and the owner's reason behind it. Obviously not knowing enough Japanese is not the real reason seeing how I am having a whole conversation about how I don't know enough Japanese… in Japanese.
Maybe four gaijin is just way over the quota for such a small place? Maybe three obvious gaijin with one pretty-and-could-pass-for-Japanese woman is too much to handle? Maybe because I'm white or Emanuel is black or Moty is Laotian. Whatever reason he was pissed in that reserved Japanese way where you can tell he is pissed without being so outwardly angry but one false move could lead to a shuriken in your temple.
Being so used to polite and friendly Japanese customer service people I couldn't even fathom that we would go into a restaurant and be kicked out. At first I thought they didn't understand that I really could order and my second thought was maybe they don't think we have enough money. Around the third or fourth time the stubborn old bastard owner told me I couldn't speak or read Japanese (and he sure as hell was sticking to that line) was when I realized we were getting kicked out because we are gaijin.
I'm so dumbfounded by the situation that I can't do anything but make my feeble protest and leave. Me and the other two guys are thinking, "if this guy wants us to leave then f*ck him we'll find somewhere better." Us three big scary foreign looking men stand up and slink out of the restaurant, defeated.
However, Kim, the petite Japanese-looking girl waits until the men start to walk out and holding her head high screams English obscenity after obscenity at the crusty old man to the shock and horror of all in attendance. Looking behind me I see the customers and staff with their heads down out of embarrassment of the situation. Kim exits last and as a final F*CK YOU she slams the door of the restaurant so hard it might have reawakened Godzilla.
I've never been kicked out of anywhere before, especially while sober and at a public restaurant and certainly never because of my ethnicity. The white man finally got to share a moment of intolerance and racism with his black and Asian friends. Hmmmm so this is why minorities can get angry over equality. Yes I see it is all starting to make sense now.
Afterwards we went to an awesome tempura restaurant where the menu was all in Japanese. Problems? None. In fact we got one of the best tables, had great service, and the food was delicious. One small statured small minded old man isn't going to ruin our time in Japan damn it.
Monday, November 5, 2007
The Sh*t They Make Us Teach
Some of the English teaching materials are strange, very strange. I thought about describing how inane some these materials were, but a picture is worth a thousand words so…
First here are some pictures from a picture book which has basic phrases that Elementary students are taught.
Oh my god is that woman dead!
There are a lot of elderly in Japan, but this is a little disturbing.
Very few sport the fro in Japan...
Teaching kids to laugh at others who's appearance differs slightly from their own.
This one is just sad.
Then there are horribly inane songs they make us sing...
All right fine I can abide by stupid songs like that last one but teaching kids erroneous facts about Santa Claus is unforgivable. Heathens.
Now this last one is just plain disturbing. Its not just the lyrics it's the super creepy pervert that recites the lyrics. The lyrics are accompanied by a 70'sesque funk soundtrack complete with bow chicka bow bow and orgasmic shrieks of, 'Ooohhh yess!' in the background. It's just wrong on so many levels. What the hell were they thinking? How can we make this sound any MORE like porn and still get away with it?
Kim and I are contemplating staying in Japan and compiling our own English lesson plans to sell to the gullible Japanese. Maybe we'll even cut an album or ten. Can't be any worse than the shit they make us teach with now.
First here are some pictures from a picture book which has basic phrases that Elementary students are taught.
Oh my god is that woman dead!
There are a lot of elderly in Japan, but this is a little disturbing.
Very few sport the fro in Japan...
Teaching kids to laugh at others who's appearance differs slightly from their own.
This one is just sad.
Then there are horribly inane songs they make us sing...
Now what's so wrong with this? Well it's slow as hell and the "she's my cousin" line is supposed to be HILARIOUS, but it is just so excruciatingly lame. What is this even supposed to teach?
All right fine I can abide by stupid songs like that last one but teaching kids erroneous facts about Santa Claus is unforgivable. Heathens.
Now this last one is just plain disturbing. Its not just the lyrics it's the super creepy pervert that recites the lyrics. The lyrics are accompanied by a 70'sesque funk soundtrack complete with bow chicka bow bow and orgasmic shrieks of, 'Ooohhh yess!' in the background. It's just wrong on so many levels. What the hell were they thinking? How can we make this sound any MORE like porn and still get away with it?
Kim and I are contemplating staying in Japan and compiling our own English lesson plans to sell to the gullible Japanese. Maybe we'll even cut an album or ten. Can't be any worse than the shit they make us teach with now.
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