The Sh*t They Make Us Teach

Some of the English teaching materials are strange, very strange. I thought about describing how inane some these materials were, but a picture is worth a thousand words so…

First here are some pictures from a picture book which has basic phrases that Elementary students are taught.

Oh my god is that woman dead!



There are a lot of elderly in Japan, but this is a little disturbing.

Very few sport the fro in Japan...

Teaching kids to laugh at others who's appearance differs slightly from their own.

This one is just sad.

Notice the poor doggy's tears.

Then there are horribly inane songs they make us sing...

Now what's so wrong with this? Well it's slow as hell and the "she's my cousin" line is supposed to be HILARIOUS, but it is just so excruciatingly lame. What is this even supposed to teach?

All right fine I can abide by stupid songs like that last one but teaching kids erroneous facts about Santa Claus is unforgivable. Heathens.







Now this last one is just plain disturbing. Its not just the lyrics it's the super creepy pervert that recites the lyrics. The lyrics are accompanied by a 70'sesque funk soundtrack complete with bow chicka bow bow and orgasmic shrieks of, 'Ooohhh yess!' in the background. It's just wrong on so many levels. What the hell were they thinking? How can we make this sound any MORE like porn and still get away with it?




Kim and I are contemplating staying in Japan and compiling our own English lesson plans to sell to the gullible Japanese. Maybe we'll even cut an album or ten. Can't be any worse than the shit they make us teach with now.